Life used to be pretty simple when we were little. If your Mom told you to do something, you did it. It made life easier and happier for everyone involved. But, since my Mom has long since passed away (and I admittedly had stopped listening to her advice decades before), I have to rely on my own motivation to do the things that are good for me, on a daily basis.

Until now. Tech is here to replace my Mom!

I have a routine. Part of that routine is simple. Get up. Make the coffee. Make sure my wife is up (she is still working for a couple more years, bless her heart). Play my “memory game.” Get to work, doing whatever I have to do for the day, as a 71-year-old-retired-man.

But, this morning, as I played my “memory game,” an ad came up for a new app. This app promised to change my life, make me more productive, and healthier, both physically and mentally.

Sure. Why not?  I’m not too old to admit that I could use a happiness nudge now and then. Especially these days. And, 245% Happier?  Who could turn that down?

So, I downloaded it to my phone from the APP Store.  And, I admit…I was stunned!

The “sales pitch” was clearly aimed at people who “doom scroll” too much these days, and get depressed enough by current events, to forget to take care of themselves.

While I don’t think I fall into this category, I have been known to wear the same sweats, and skip shaving for a day or two, if I don’t have to go out in public (I don’t count playing disc golf as being “in public,”  as most of the folks playing, especially on rainy days, make me look very dapper and well put together).

However, I had come this far, I decided to “open the hood” and play along.

I don’t have a pet. So, a virtual pet that could be my new “best friend” and grows because I do stuff for myself, seems simple enough.  CLICK!  DOWNLOAD!  I’m in!

Wow! What a cute little chick! And, they let me pick the color (my favorite color is blue), and even name my little finch friend!  “Lil’Cranky” seemed just right, and as I was already drinking a 32 oz. glass of water (which I drink before my coffee), I felt like I was already ahead of the game!

Whoa! Not off to a great start in the “Happiness Department!” Right away, I am once again reminded that I am in the “OTHER” demographic…the “65 and over” category that has far less relevance to marketers, even ones trying to make you happy!

I was HAPPY to note that I didn’t have any of the classic mental health issues (at least ones of which I am aware…but friends and family my differ on my self-evaluation).

Admittedly, the selection of options offered as areas of improvement, were a tad narrow. After looking at the list, I decided that “Strengthening my Social Skills and Connections” was a worthy goal.  While I am very active in my Rotary Club, and always look to meet new people doing new things, I readily admit that I am also prone to cutting ties when I feel frustrated with brain-dead, liars, who run private golf clubs. Too specific? I’ll see what “Lil’Cranky” has to say about that.

Then, “Lil’Cranky” got right to it, and asked if I knew why I put things off? After a lot of soul searching (as I finished off my water, and moved onto coffee), I realized that I often hold off on things these days, because I am afraid I will fail…or be let down…or lied to…or disappointed when I find out that the world is crumbling. And yes, I sometimes wake up at 3:45 in the morning, and go into “monkey-brain mode,” trying to figure out if it’s too late to do anything about the things you know need attending to, in order to save the future for your kids and grandkids!!!!!!!!

I NEED HELP Lil’Cranky!

BOOM! Lil’Cranky and my new “Finch Self-Care App,” SAVED ME!

They laid out what I had to do, in order to be 245% Happier!!!

• Get out of bed. CHECK!
• Brush my Teeth. CHECK!
• Wash my face. (does getting dressed and combing my hair cover this one?)
• Drink Water. CHECK!
• Take a Stretch Break. CHECK!
• Do one Thing that Makes Me Happy!
  For me it is making my Five Calls to my Congressional Representatives to tell them to GET A SPINE, Like Jasmine Crocket, who tried to force the MAGA SHEEP to admit that Russia Invaded Ukraine. CHECK!
  (watch REAL courage Here)

However, with the next “click,” my HAPPINESS METER dropped to zero. They were asking for $39.99 (Not “Cheep” and $69.99 if I didn’t sign up soon) to keep reminding me to do all of the things I was already doing. Things I was doing because my MOM used to tell me to do stuff when I was a kid, and helped me learn that a routine is part of being happy and healthy.

THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT A DIGITAL CHICK IS REPLACING MY MOM’S VOICE IN MY HEAD!

Has it really come down to this?  Another addictive game or device to dumb you down and shame you into doing the things you already knew you had to do?

NO! SORRY FOR SUCH A SHORT LIFE, “LIL’CRANKY!”  DELETE!

Now…if getting rid of Musk was that easy, I’d TRULY be 245% happier!

It’s Friday. We have the weekend to forget the week. Even Trump will likely golf again. Listen to the “Mom in your head.” Routines are good. Spending $39.99/$69.99 to bug you on something you should be setting aside for a few hours this weekend, is bad.

You can do this.  Your Mom believes in you.