When it comes to love and romance at my advanced age, you need to temper your expectations, with healthy doses of reality. However, every once in a while, you actually hit one out of the park, and you find out what is really important in your relationship. And, even after being together almost non-stop, for almost 45 years, you realize that continuing to evolve is the only way to success.

I am proud of myself. I did so well for Valentine’s Day weekend…right until I didn’t.

But, the “didn’t” part had little to do with things within my control (unless you count my inability to simply NOT WATCH THE NEWS, when I am trying to have a romantic weekend}. It’s a challenge. But in the end, love prevails.

Maybe you can learn from our weekend of “keeping it fresh” in the relationship department, while savoring the things that bonded us in the first place. And also learning that “No News” really can be “Good News,” when you are trying to get through this life.

But, let’s start with my admitting a bit of abject shame, that fueled my plans for Valentine’s Day.

As many couples who have been together for decades do, we have decided that “gift giving” for one another starts to get silly, especially during the holidays, where we are still buying for family and kids. We realized a while ago, that for the most part, if we want/need something, we just buy it.

However, traditions die hard. This year, we tried a “kind of non-traditional tradition” where we bought what we wanted for ourselves, and then gave it to the other person to wrap and put under the tree, so we had something to open. This being the FIRST Christmas ever, that we didn’t have at least one of our kids home, it was particularly important to at least try and make the day normal.

And it was…right up until I realized that there were a couple of EXTRA packages for me. Surprise gifts from my generous wife. Boom! Fail on my behalf.

You’d think I would have learned. But, when our Wedding Anniversary came around on January 9th, she did it again. She “broke the rules” and got me another gift. I knew I was in deep trouble…but held out hope that I could redeem myself for Valentine’s Day, which is also the anniversary of our getting engaged.

I started by doing the thing she kind of expected, and went all out for the meal. I made air-fryer shrimp appetizer, with salad. I did a special recipe for filet mignon, with petite potatoes, and broccoli.

I made her favorite drink, the “lemon drop” (a couple of them to make sure she was happy). Then finished the meal with a special strawberry cheesecake from our favorite bakery. All good. and all special, because it required forethought.

As it turns out, I could have served her hot dogs and beans, because the gifts I got were such a hit, that the fancy meal was pretty much sidelined.

My wife loves to do jigsaw puzzles. I do not. But, if you want to give the perfect gift, you take the “what I like” out of the equation. I did that.

The first part of the gift was a custom puzzle I had made, from a graphic I did representing our lives together. Pictures from the beginning…and pictures from the recent past.

Breaking up the two “life zones,” is a picture of a pair of chubby angels we bought years and years ago at the annual Holiday Market at the fairgrounds. We bought them because they were cute, and chubby, and funny…until we realized that we have BECOME the angels! So, yes…they are still cute and funny…but for a different reason.

The second part of the gift was a “puzzle table” I bought on Amazon, that has sorting drawers, a swivel base, and a cover to keep the puzzle safe from pets, kids, or other mishaps when you are working on it.

She. Was. Ecstatic.

The rest of the weekend was spent working on the puzzle…going to see the last movie on our list for the Academy awards (more on this in another post), and then burying ourselves deep into the world of the Saturday Night Live 50th Anniversary. This was important, as it sparked so many memories from the show, along with the “what we were doing in our lives when that cast was on,” conversations.

It was the perfect weekend for two people who still love being together (while preserving time apart for personal interests), and finding out that the best part of a good relationship, is simply making the effort.

It was almost perfect.

Until JD Vance delivered his own “Valentine to the World.” This Project 2025-boosted-barely-human-miscreant was everywhere. He spoke at three different gatherings in Europe. He insulted world leaders at the Munich Security Conference. He befriended and spoke to Germany’s AFD Party (modern day Nazis), and then finished by delivering a moronic view of his vision for AI development and guardrails (All gas…no breaks…let’s find out how far it goes until it crashes).

I didn’t link any of those stories here…as I will follow up later, and didn’t want to add to your “doom scrolling” on a Monday.

I am not proud of the fact that I let this complete shit-show of a human creep into an otherwise great weekend. Lord knows, there is enough bad news these days to suck the air out of your “joy” in a nanosecond.

But, I CHOSE to go there.

So, my final summation for “How to be romantic and happy in the coming year” comes down to a couple of things.

• Make the effort. Be prepared to be surprised.
• Do the things that bring you happiness with the people who bring you joy.
• Limit your time exposing yourself to the “assclownery of the current administration.” Know when to turn it off.

And yes…try new things. Even if you think you will hate them.

Turns out, my wife and I are pretty damn good at this 500 piece puzzle called life.