We are coming to the close of Pride Month. And if the Christian Nationalists that authored Project 2025 (and have infiltrated the highest levels of our government) have anything to say about it, it may be the LAST Federally Recognized Pride Month in our nation’s history.
But, this post isn’t about calling out the social agenda on display by the likes of Stephen Miller, Russell Vought, and Kevin Roberts. It is about my own wake-up call, as a “progressive” who purports to embrace supporting the LGBTQIA2+ communities.
And, perhaps I need to start by admitting that as enlightened as I thought I was, I was not even aware that the acronym had grown beyond LGBTQ.
That was about to change with an incident this past week, which forced me to do a little hard self-reflection, and a whole lot of learning.
If you are reading this, you are likely aware that I am opinionated, and prone to becoming animated and loud when stating an opinion (my wife, children and friends will vouch for this). During a recent introductory business meeting, with a local media company, I was stating that they may need to broaden their content to offer a wider net of interest, in order to attract a broader base of advertisers. The most recent cover picture from this publication is below.
Copyright Eugene Weekly
My comment, (spoken loudly and in an animated fashion) was that they have to understand that a “picture of a transvestite with a gun” on the cover, may alienate a good number of people in a more monied demographic.
Ugh.
I immediately knew that I had misspoken, and said something to the effect of “Dammit…I think I used the wrong term, and my five daughters would kill me.”
Everyone at the meeting agreed that I had used the wrong term (the gasps were almost audible) and I had a sinking feeling that my introductory meeting may be my last meeting with this very socially progressive group of community leaders.
I got through the meeting. Everyone seemed to be OK. Until I got the phone call.
The publisher (who is basically the CEO in the print world) called to point out the fact that the woman who was on that cover, was actually just feet away from the open conference room where we were meeting. And, that she likely heard my comment. “You speak loudly,” was part of the point she was making.
I felt awful. My feelings of “stupid old man” were only compounded by learning that the publisher has a trans child, and that the journey for she and her child had been arduous. It had however, resulted in the writing of a booklet called “A Guide to Trans Folks for the People Who Love Them.”
It was agreed that I would swing by the office, and that she would leave a copy for me. And if I chose to, I could slip Eve (who is also their front desk receptionist and staff writer) a note of apology.
But, notes…when I am standing right in front of someone I may have harmed or insulted, is just not my style. Talk to them. Engage and learn from the experience. Be contrite, honest and sincere. And for the love of God, don’t make it worse.
In short, the meeting was brief. Eve was extremely gracious, and once we got past the awkwardness of the situation, we dove into talking about her gun collection, and if an AR-style rifle has much kick. In short, we became two humans, who could overcome our differences, by being honest, open, and curious. I sincerely hope that this is just the first of many conversations I will have with Eve in the future.
BUT…DID I ACTUALLY LEARN ANYTHING FROM THIS EXPERIENCE?
Like most of the things I learn in the world that have any real impact on changing me fundamentally, it had to start with admitting that I didn’t know half of what I thought I knew.
I was raised in the era of pathetic jock humor, where calling each other “gay” or “fag” as an insult to poor athletic performance was not unusual. I’m not proud of it.
I have always made the assumption, that because I am “tolerant, accepting and supportive” of our gay family members, friends, and associates, that I am “enlightened” for my age (now in my 70s).
However, this experience caused me to realize that I am “lower-case enlightened” at best. I had to admit that as it pertains to LGBTQIA2+, I am likely leaning toward the “CrankyOldGuy side of learning new things,” which usually tends to err on the side of “I’m too old to re-learn everything all over again!”
But, here I am. Googling a NEW version of what I thought was simply LGBTQ.
LGBTQIA2+ is an acronym that represents the diverse spectrum of sexual orientations and gender identities. It stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (or Questioning), Intersex, Asexual, and Two-Spirit, with the “+” symbolizing inclusion of other identities not explicitly listed. The “+” is crucial for recognizing the ever-evolving nature of language and identity, acknowledging that there are many other ways people may identify.
Here’s a breakdown of the terms:
- Lesbian: Women attracted to other women.
- Gay: Primarily attracted to people of the same gender, often used to describe men attracted to men, but can also be an umbrella term for anyone attracted to the same gender.
- Bisexual: Attraction to both men and women.
- Transgender: Individuals whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.
- Queer: An umbrella term for those who are not heterosexual or cisgender, or a term for someone questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity.
- Intersex: Individuals born with sex characteristics that don’t fit typical binary notions of male or female.
- Asexual: Individuals who experience little to no sexual attraction.
- Two-Spirit: A term originating from some Native American cultures for individuals who embody both masculine and feminine spirits.
- The “+” acknowledges that this is not an exhaustive list and new terms and identities are constantly emerging within the community.
Which takes me back to wanting to behave in a manner that shows respect, understanding, and compassion when doing my best to EVOLVE AS A HUMAN BEING.
The booklet is very informative, and well written. For me, lesson number one came from a very helpful list of new/accepted terminology. (Oh, how I wish I had read this before our meeting).
I joke about the travails of being targeted as an Old Angry White Man. When if fact, there is a need to begin understanding how even that “joke label” can create barriers. It’s why I write, and protest, and stand up for people who are being “othered” by hypocritical politics and movements who espouse a culture of “Christian Love,” while actively doing their best to erase anyone who is different.
I continue to come back to the ambiguity of people who espouse to be followers of Christ (who preached of loving one another unconditionally), while working to pass laws that eliminate the very existence of those who are born in bodies that are counter to their birth gender.
And now, in a flurry of rulings at the end of their current fiscal year, The Supreme Court is once again siding with the Religious Right, in matters that are simply ridiculous. My wife is a school counselor at the elementary level. She is shaking her head at this ruling.
With health care, food pantry programs for the poor, school lunch programs, and more being cut by the horrendous Big Beautiful Bill, THIS is the most important issue parents are facing?
I am old. I am disgusted with our current state of politics and the moves to eliminate anything that smacks of being different than “Good Old AmuriKKKan White Christian Culture.”
But, I clearly have much more to learn. I am thankful for the lesson I was given by acknowledging my own chosen ignorance.
Too short we live…too late we learn. But, you have to keep trying.
CrankyOldGuy.com 
Gre
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